I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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