If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
