you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
