i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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