My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
