Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
