Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
