I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize