How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
