She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just want to make out with him forever
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
