Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
