Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
