if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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