My brain says no but my pants say off.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
