Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
