Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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