I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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