Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
