i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
