one two three fourrrrnication!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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