i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
