we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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