i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
