Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
