In the future we'll all be gay
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
