i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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