the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
