You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
