i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
