So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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