omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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