just tell him i said nine months
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
