win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His hands were made for my vagina.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
