I think my vagina is haunted
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
