how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
