Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
