I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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