whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
