You surviving the open bar?
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I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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