Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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