So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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