you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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