hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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