After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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