I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
