Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
