If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
