we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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