i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
