Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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