have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize