Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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