I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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