I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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