he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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