i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
