So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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